alarming to the senses

It's funny how high school sucked so bad when you were there but leaving it hurts more. Looking back at cada, birthdays, parties, best friends, ex-loves, or just waking up for zero period, it seemed so routine but thats what made it great; knowing what to expect. In high school you learn EXACTLY what to expect out of your day. Like who you are guaranteed to see or what teacher you never wanted to see, at least you knew what to expect. Now things seem so very uncertain. Like wow, I may never see this person again for the rest of my life or wow, I'll never have that moment back to change the outcome of certain events. Learning you have no control over what to expect in the future sucks. Or just maybe it will be deeply liberating?