The best feeling the world is when your heart and mind finally agree and you officially come to terms with a situation.
I can honestly say that I never ever felt this way. It feels good to let everything go that doesn't matter and learn to stop caring because you just honestly don't care about it anymore. I think I found the best thing to hold on to at this point and won't let it slip.

it must be said...

OK so, after not that much thought I have simplified the male thought process into an easy to read theory.
SO, let it be said for everyone who thinks men are complicated, they are simple. It is the male that is simple while the girl makes the situation complicated by her perception. GUYS work ONE way, they are either in love with you or they aren't. Meaning, guys either find one girl they are sprung on and in love with or they just float around with whoever, as they can by exercising their right to single manhood. It is in fact the female who complicates the relationship by thinking she is "different"/ "the exception" or any other justification we make for guys who say they love us but aren't with us. IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE. who would have thought? haha not to sound against the female gender i just think it needs to be said, and in turn I now understand my past and future so much better. haha :)




"The world's a roller coaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care
But my hands are busy in the air"
xoxo

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

It's funny how high school sucked so bad when you were there but leaving it hurts more. Looking back at cada, birthdays, parties, best friends, ex-loves, or just waking up for zero period, it seemed so routine but thats what made it great; knowing what to expect. In high school you learn EXACTLY what to expect out of your day. Like who you are guaranteed to see or what teacher you never wanted to see, at least you knew what to expect. Now things seem so very uncertain. Like wow, I may never see this person again for the rest of my life or wow, I'll never have that moment back to change the outcome of certain events. Learning you have no control over what to expect in the future sucks. Or just maybe it will be deeply liberating?

:(

There come a point in time when you've endured enough and your fears start to leave. You loose those fears knowing the thing that hurts you the most will finally consume you.

mhm

what to do, what to do?
SQAURE ONE

ehhh, lyrics lyrics

This was over before
Before it ever began
Your lips, your lies, your lust
Like the devil's in your hands
Everyone in this town
is seeing somebody else
Everybody's tired of someone
our eyes wander for help
Prayers that need no answer now
I'm tired of who I am
You were my greatest mistake
I fell in love with your sin

Looking at old pictures and remembering how happy that moment made you can really suck sometimes.
I wish we had a replay button like in sports, just incase you needed to see that moment once more, even if you already know the outcome, just to see the potential that moment held. DAMN.

sometimes when one door closes, two doors open and
something good can make you feel uneasy. A good cry may be just what you need to make it all better again.

so I waited

and it never came